What Is Love Bombing And How Do We Protect Someone From It?
When you meet someone new, the world suddenly seems like a good and exciting place. Feeling butterflies in the stomach, having someone get you gifts, and showering you with attention and affection seems fun when you are at the beginning of a new relationship.
Love bombing is however another story.
Have you ever heard of the word love bombing? Love bombing occurs when someone “bombs” you with extreme displays of attention and affection.
This person often showers their partner with a lot of love and affection, completely adores them, and somehow became attached way too soon. This person compliments them effusively and displays grand gestures of love.
Love Bombing is the action or practice of showering someone with all the attention or affection primarily to influence, manipulate or have some sort of control over them. It can be shown in several forms such as lavishing someone with gifts or complimenting someone among others.
Having these signs does not necessarily mean that your partner is toxic but it is advisable to look out for the classic signs of love bombing that we’ll discuss below. Also, listen to your intuition and if it’s telling you that the person who’s trying to woo you, is too good to be true, they might be.
Signs of Love Bombing
- They will give you excessive compliments for getting attention from you. They might express their undying love for you within a short period. On their own, these phrases aren’t necessarily harmful, but it’s important to consider them in the larger context of someone’s overall behavior. These compliments might sound like- “I have never met someone as perfect as you” and “You are everything I wanted and more”.
- They go overboard, buy expensive and lavish gifts, and it is common for them to tell their partner the price to create feelings of guilt in their partner. These gifts might include- plane tickets for your vacation together, a car, or ten dozen roses sent to you at work and never taking “no” for an answer.
- They introduce you to the important people in their lives briskly after meeting you. They tend to rush into things and start discussing your future together.
- They try to mold themselves to be who they think YOU want.
- They are excessively needy, get upset when you set boundaries, and want commitment promptly
How to protect someone from being love-bombed?
- Flag any excessive attention or gifts early in the relationship. Remember: If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. If they are showering you with excessive compliments and gifts take it as a red flag.
- Learn to recognize and steer clear of narcissists. Someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) will exhibit a lack of empathy for others, an excessive need for attention, an inflated sense of importance, and troubled relationships. Love bombing might also accompany sociopathy
- Be aware of your vulnerabilities. If you came from an emotionally detached family or learned to feel loved by receiving gifts you might be vulnerable to love bombers. In that case, proceed with extreme caution and take time to heal. Don’t rush into a relationship with the first person who appreciates or tries to woo you. People with narcissistic personalities tend to target vulnerable people.
- Rundown a checklist of what a healthy relationship looks like. With closeness, respect, and consideration, healthy couples can be vulnerable, trust and care for each other. A healthy relationship includes listening, showing empathy, regard, compassion, and respect.
- Maintain a healthy dose of realism. We don’t always know if someone is love bombing us but we can stay focused on the reality of the relationship by looking at the big picture. Remember to not make red flags green because you’ve been love bombed!
A WORD FROM SOCIALLY SOULED
Love bombing can incredibly impact your mental health, as it is a form of emotional abuse. If someone gives you something you feel that you owe them something equal or greater in return. If you think that anyone you know is being love-bombed, don’t overlook it, confront the issue at hand.